The Hostess with the Mostess

Hosting… it's an art really. Some of us are a super breed of hosts and some really suck at it. I love my mom but I don’t really associate her with attributing my greater qualities. Although if there is one thing I HAVE learned from her; it's being a good hostess. I love to plan and execute a good get together. Growing up and even today my mother is the queen of hosting she has a get together/dinner party at least 3 out of 7 days a week if not MORE! And has opened her home to/hosted dozens of exchnage students from all over the world. She loves having company whether it be briefly or for an extended time. Once you walk into her home you are welcomed, comfortable and served as well as entertained you also feel comfortable because you are not treated as a “viewer”. There is an alternative breed of host and it’s not that they intentionally mean to alienate or make you uncomfortable but they just don’t have any natural hosting abilities. I comprised the tools I think it takes to host a successful party and earn the title of top notch host/hostess.


INVITATIONS AND PLANNING: Always plan ahead, when hosting a get together big or small DO NOT procrastinate, even a small get together should have some sort of grace period for people with busy schedules otherwise you may come off as rude. I have devised a list of appropriate time frames …

3-4 weeks or more for a large event (fundraisers, showers, etc…);

2-3 weeks for a medium size event (birthdays, baptismal receptions , dinner parties); and,

1 ½ - 2 weeks for small gatherings one week is never appropriate! (small groups, seasonal meet and greets, holiday parties etc.)

A text or email is never an appropriate form of invitation. Whatever the occasion create a solid invitation if it is extremely informal or a monthly occurrence make sure to communicate your plans to each individual by phone if anything remember (the more personal the more inviting) Then a reminder by text is welcome because it really lets a person know they are wanted. Be prepared Nothing sucks more than showing up to a gathering where you feel anxious and uncomfortable because things are not prepared when you arrive. Be ready for early arrivers don’t immediately put them to work or rush around them as if they are not there. (this leaves a bad taste in the mouth of a “Guest”) Instead clean the day before to ensure a smooth set up on the day of the event. And make sure you have everything taken care of before hand so when it is time to party there are no worries (people can sense distress.)

GROUPING: If you are hosting a short gathering for a special occasion it is okay to invite a variety of people. Guest will not worry about the people they are mixing with for 2-3 hours. But if you are planning a more intimate gathering or planning to spend an extended period of time together remember to choose people who will have common interests. Make sensible judgment.

LIVELINESS or being "THE HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTESS”: The key to being a good hostess is making each and every person feel like they had a special time and paying attention to everyone without alienating. This can seem like a daunting task but its quit easy once you have had ample practice. The key is to mingle not dwindle always seem interested and greet every person. When conversing in a group and you spot a person being left out politely engage them in the conversation for an opening to join. When someone is talking do not steal the spotlight. For example if the topic were to arise such as… “The upcoming election" don’t interrupt by saying “Don’t even get me started on that” it’s considered an interruption and deemed quite rude. Also don’t steal the spotlight. Let everyone have their opinion if it becomes an issue casually change the subject. Our moods, emotions and actions influence the people around us. Even if you are not having a good day or week please place that to the side because it WILL make people uncomfortable you must always be an enthusiastic host. (even if they are you BEST FRIEND refrain from bringing it up during a get together its not the place.)

NEAT AND CLEAN: this perhaps is the most important… some people just don’t get it. I was taught to never invite a guest into a dirty home!!!!! Saying you are to busy is never an excuse. If you don’t have time, don’t have company. From 1 guest to 25 guests your home MUST always be NEAT and CLEAN. Clear clutter and Clean messes!!!!

FOOD: When preparing food for your guest there are a few simple rules to follow. Don’t experiment your guest are not lab rats. Please do not ever experiment on the day of get-together. You really want the food to be tasty memorable (in a good way). If you experiment and you get it wrong, you will give a very bad impression about your self to that guest. Prepare fresh food. Remember if you make 9 great dishes and one is yuck! Then the yuck one is going to leave the BIGGEST impression. Its better to have 5 average dishes than 9 good ones and 2 yucky ones.


THE FAREWELL: Please be a gracious host. Even though your tired or have plans after the gathering please remember that everyone took time out of their bust schedule to attend your party BE POLITE stick around till the last person leaves give a gracious send off and a kind “thank you for coming”, “were so glad you could make it”, or “we really enjoyed your company” I mean really its not hard! Please don’t send someone off with a “see ya” from the couch or leave your other guest to send them off while you disappear to get ready for other plans.


Remember being a host is a responsibly but also FUN if you can’t handle all of the things that are involved its better to bow out and let someone with more experience host.

Rotten Eggs!

Recently my sister, Joyce and her husband, Ted invited my husband and I on a sailing trip in the British Virgin Islands and as the voyage nears I am reminded of a fantastic little tid bit from the last trip to the BVI.

                About  4 years ago my sister, Joyce invited  the family to the BVI for her wedding.  We spent 7 glorious days in that beautiful place… However there is one downfall to the BVI … The price of food is absurd a pack of chips is like $8.00 (WHAT!). We went to the local markets to prepare family breakfast one morning and decided eggs were on the menu (since chickens were abundant it was super cheep). After we returned to the villa and began unloading groceries I grabbed the eggs... something smelled FUNKY so I began sniffing in as deep as possible trying to find the source of the funky smell (thinking it was the eggs) I continued sniffing the eggs…

ME: Joyce do you smell that … (inhaling violently)   I think me may have bought rotten eggs…

Joyce: rolling on the floor laughing points her finger in my face “you dumb ass I just farted and you just inhaled my entire fart.”

                Lets just say I wont be investigating funky smells again!

ONE HOT MESS

I have come to the conclusion that everyone thinks I am a hot mess!  AM I? Nahhhh…. Just because I have selective hearing, I cant keep secrets (insignificant ones) and I occasionally forget my purse, keys, cell phone etc…. does not mean I don’t have my stuff together! LOL who am I kidding. So I have devised a list of things for me to “WORK ON”

1.       When the TV is on and someone is talking and its only the two of you in the room STOP watching and listen most likely they are talking to you! Work on it…

2.       When you go somewhere quit fidgeting with your purse , phone and keys and stick them all in the same place in your purse on your shoulder… this way you cant leave it in their bathroom or counter or anywhere else you shouldn’t have a cell phone.

3.       Quit pretending like you care… just say “I don’t want to cause I think its lame”… then you don’t have to make up an excuse later of why you can’t come.

4.       Don’t borrow things, just ask if you can keep them forever … lets be honest your never going to remember to give it back anyway.

5.       IF someone says “hey I have something to tell you, but you can’t tell anyone” …. Just stop them right there and say are you sure you want to tell ME … I am probably going tell at least one person ! (Give the option of changing their mind and If they still tell you its not that big of a secret)

6.       Don’t volunteer to help anyone with anything they don’t really want your help they think you are a hot mess!

Well that concludes my self help list for today …

<3 me J     

LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER

Hello fellow bloggers.... Today is a great day. I am celebrating 4 wonderful years with my amazing husband. In commemoration of our time together I have decided to talk a little about our relationship and things that help me continue to love and serve God and my family as a loving (step) mother and wife. I am so happy with my relationship with God, my husband, daughter, and family. I wanted to share a few thoughts today about my relationship. Here is my guide to love (for what its worth).

1. Couples who pray together stay together. This is the most important thing i live by. Without loving God and yourself you cannot possibly love another. The closer I am to God the closer i am to my family.
2 You said for better or worse (we all have bad days sometimes bad days can be bad weeks but your in it to win it) the best advice i ever got was from a lady who had been married for 62 years. She said "when you get really mad and you feel like you just cant take it any more "LEAVE" (pause...) take a walk outside give your self some time to cool off and him too then come back and calmly talk it out"... It works like a charm.
3.Whats mine is yours... There is nothing that i keep to myself my husband is my best friend and what is his is mine and vise versa don't ever feel someone holds more power because they make more money etc... the best relationships are those where you can support each other without conditions.
4.Money is the root of all evil... whether your rich or poor money is 80%  of all arguments. Be open about money cause it will destroy.
5.Be prepared to love openly... let me explain this one... It is especially important because one thing i never imagined was marrying someone who had a child. It takes someone with amazing strength and dedication to love and raise someone else's kid unconditionally. I love my stepdaughter with my whole heart she IS my own and i will lay down my life for her but I will admit its not easy... Before you enter a relationship with someone who has kids make sure your ready to commit to it... Also when you Marry someone you marry their family too... sometimes you have to agree to disagree but remember RESPECT  your elders at all times.
6. Time for yourself... make sure not to loose yourself in the relationship... I know this first hand spend a little time getting to know YOU.
7. Stop being a drama King/queen... Quit focusing so much on emotions and feelings. don't set such high expectations. Eventually those things fade. Instead of worrying about how your spouse is going to make you feel, which you have no control over, take control of your own actions. You have to make a conscious choice in marriage to no matter what that you will love and serve God, your spouse and your children etc. (read screwtape letter 18).

To be continued as we grow in our relationship :)

Well I hope you enjoy my lessons  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY love :)

Family Transformation Coping with Learning Disabilities

I know its been ages but the last 4-5 weeks have been really wild for me vacations, preparing for school ect... But back to the swing of things.
  Recently Lexi got her results from her testing for a learning disability (which was brought about because of her lagging mathematical comprehension) which as I thought resulted in her having a mild case of ADHD and a very short term memory problem along with some emotional distress. In an effort to boost our relationship with her Mother and encourage healthy living we decided to meet with her mom to discuss her keeping up with her schedule she holds at our home. Much to my surprise she was very willing to cooperate and was keen on doing whatever it took to salvage Lexi's childhood. I am happy to report that we are continuing to support each other and Lexi and adding a few routines to our ever so hectic days. I have compiled a list of new things that we are practicing in order to help Lexi cope with her disability.

Waking up 30 min earlier every morning to cook breakfast instead of grabbing something as we rush out the door.
Doing study as a team instead of just one parent helping at a time
Eating dinner together at the table as a family and discussing our days (This is how i grew up but not my husband... i finally got him on the bandwagon)
And spending a little extra time doing something fun every night before bed to encourage family bonds

I am really excited about these new additions to our daily routine and I will let you know her progress ....

GOD IS GREAT

WHO AM I

       
For the past 3 years I have struggled with my faith and my identity. I mean before that, these things didn't matter at all to me. I was loving life (or so I thought) just doing what I want, when I wanted with no concept of consequence. I remember being the life of the party always on the go a new adventure around every corner and making use of every second of every day for me all me.  I filled whatever void I had with meaningless evils like promiscuity, drinking (as much as could be expected since I am allergic to alcohol), partying, experimenting with this and that. I thought life was great this was me, I was awesome I oozed cool…. RIGHT?

        I was living in Baton Rouge in my one bedroom apartment next to my best friend and favorite person my cousin Del. I was partyin’ that night hard core club hopping with my “friends” when I got a call some where between Fred’s and the varsity around midnight or later. It was my uncle… “hey kiddo how are you doing I was just calling to let you know I need to talk to you and Del tomorrow together its about your grandma… ok love you talk to you tomorrow”  I immediately B lined to the restroom so I could call Del to find out what was going on. She was clueless but we set a time to meet up and speaker phone her Dad.

          Let me take a minute to explain my relationship with my grandmother. If there is one thing I have always done right its having an extremely close relationship with my family. Growing up in an predominantly Asian culture it unavoidable. My grandma whom I will hereinafter refer to as “my nay nay” (nay nay means momma in tagalog) was my rock.  She raised me and all my cousins from birth while all of our parents worked super hard to providing for us. When she was in her 60’s she moved to New York to raise my aunts 2 kids while my aunt worked. This woman is a saint I tell you. Don’t get me wrong our parents did their share but for the most part she was our live in nanny. When we said jump, she would ask how high, we could place our food orders and it was piping hot right in front of us within 30 min or less.  We ran that little old Asian woman rugged. We fought over her, terrorized her and loved her more than anything in the world. We saw her every day and learned everything there is to learn about being a lady from her.

         I met up with Del and we sat together in her one bedroom loft as we thought about what this call would entail. FINALLY the phone rang it was uncle Fran. “Hey kids there is something really important I need to talk to you two about and it cant wait till this weekend you have a right to know” where was this conversation going it felt like the world was spinning. “We took your nay nay to the hospital and they did some test on her and I don’t know how to tell you this but she has pancreatic cancer and its pretty bad. When we get more info we will let you know but you guys should come home and visit with you nay nay this weekend and a lot from here on out because it doesn’t look good” We hung up the phone balled up together and just cried it out as we clung to each other as our worlds crumbled down.  We wiped our eyes and looked at each other and Del said “you know what we have to do right” and I said “of course we are moving back home.” It was settled right then and there we would start packing and move back to be with our grandmother who was inevitably always there for us.

         When we moved back things where ok they had diagnosed my grandmother with about 3-4 months to live and she fought it till the end with all her family on her side for almost or a lil more than a year after being diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. And her last moments where spent at my moms with every single one of her grandchildren there and her children holding on to her praying and loving her as she took her last breath.  She was gone “my nay nay” my rock. My true hero a real woman who had seen it and done it all in the most poised and proper manner, she even died gracefully.

        During the time I was home, I met Mitch my husband. What started out as a fun time and someone to occupy me while I was in town started to turn into something really special. Could it be my first real love. All this time I had gone through relationship after another cheating feeling nothing just lust and fun no emotional attachment. But Mitch he was different there was something that kept me from getting bored and moving on as I did before. Things went kind of fast and not to mention he had a 3 yr old daughter. We had our share of irresponsible moments but then we realized that we were meant for each other. I loved him he returned my love times 1,000 and I loved his daughter and we all three loved God. Could it be I found my life. Our relationship continued to grow as did our maturity we started loosing a lot of friends and staying at home more often. Things that never mattered so much began to matter like owning a home, trying to build our family, staying home to spend time with Lexi. It was all falling into place. We started introduce God into our home and decided that Lexi was going to be our number one priority and if she was going to be, we needed God on our side to get through this parenting thing. It was a difficult battle but Lexi eventually came to live with us more often than not and she is our light in a dark tunnel, our connection with the people we want to be.  But still I was lonely I was feeling alone I was no longer that life of the party, everyone loves me, I super hot, 10,000 friends person. I started feeling unattractive, my only friends were Mitch and Lexi and I was losing touch with my faith and how to apply it in my relationships. I have always had a relationship with God its just that at this point he was like a long distant friend that I occasionally had one on one conversations with.  Here I was preaching to Lexi making her say a prayer every night with Mitch and I, going through the motions but not engaging myself in it.

      Well I started thinking about my relationship with God and realized it needed to be renewed because this unhappy me was just not cutting it. I began reading the bible with my little family every night and truly examining its teachings. I started making new friends (good friends that have the same things in common as myself) and reconnected with my cousin Del who I hadn’t been making much time for. And enjoying life and the little things that people take for granted. I am really glad that I have found God again and he has been blessing me everyday with something new. I can’t say I’m perfect, I still struggle on Sundays … and I am working on it. But I am thankful that my life has taken this unexpected turn.  I’m still working on finding me through Christ but I feel a lot closer to me than ever before. I am beginning to understand that Christ is the only one who can reveal my true self to me. I am no one without GOD!  

             

An ode to those who serve our country ....

This Image is Courtesy of MARK ERIC weddings 

I am excited to hear today that a childhood friend's little sister will be receiving a complimentary session from the great (and i don't mean to use that term lightly) Mark and Heather Moticheck at http://www.markeric.net/ ...

I have a friend named Sarah, a girl i grew up next door to since her birth lol ( by the way I am only a few years her elder) ... but none the less a great family friend and they are the kind of people you remain friends with 25 years later... (shout out to her big sister Charlie Beth ) back to the story. Sarah joined the air force out of high school and shortly after got pregnant. She is a devoted single mother and her sweet baby boy is still in his toddler years. Well long story short her time with her son was stripped away from her as she made the choice to serve us and and our country. She left for deployment training for several months and her child is in the care of her big sissy and her mother.  Sarah will soon be coming home for a week before she leaves for overseas deployment. Well I saw that she was asking about photographers to do a session with her and Jayden (her son) before she has to deploy. So i took the initiative and decided to contact Mark and his wife Heather (knowing the kind hearted nature of these amazing photographers and not at any attempt to exploit it)  asked if they were interested in donating a session to this ever so deserving mother and servicewoman on such a short notice. Well i was thrilled to learn that they took time out of their extremely busy schedule to donate their services to Sarah and Jayden. Can I tell you just when you want to give up hope on the kindness in people in general God reminds you that he still has many followers out there. SO ... I just want to say thank you Mark and Heather and THANK YOU Sara for sacrificing so much while some people neglect and take for granted simple luxuries such as seeing their kids every day and bathing.

Just FAKE it!

Those of you who know me know I'm a DIYer. I love to make any and all things. Hi my name is Annie and i'm addicted to craft. So my latest endeavor was… wait for it… Fake cupcakes… I was inspired by a trip to a super cute boutique called Funky Fleur De Lis coupled with a birthday present from my sister (a super fancy chandelier cake/cupcake  stand.) I found that it was quite hard to research directions on making them so I will share it with you at the end of this post if it tickles your fancy. While on my fake cake adventure I learned a few things.

1: do not scrimp and buy the cheep stuff

2: don’t buy the wall spackle that is pink then turns white when it dries look first

3: listen to me when I say only fill 1/3 of the way… needless to say I had some super size cupcakes that where useless

4: do not touch for at least 2 hours … space filler is super sticky and it does not come off of anything

5: Wear old ratty clothes

6: with “icing” less is more; and,

7:these things look delicious but please remind your children that they are not edible

With that said here is the recipe for funky fake cake

Ingredients:

Foam expanding space filler (the good kind)

Wall spackle (not the pink kind)

acrilic paint

Icing die just a tad( I used Wilton gel color)

Cupcake papers of your choice

Cup cake pan

Wilton icing bags with decorating tips

And adornments to your liking ie… glitter (fake sprinkles), beads, molding clay for fruit

Step one…

Put down news paper and fill your cupcake pan with cupcake papers

Step two…

Fill the cupcake papers 1/3 way with foam and wait for them to rise wait at least 2 hours possibly more if you use the wrong foam your cupcakes will deflate after so long make sure there is no air in the kind you choose.

Step three…

Mix your spackle with the icing color of your choice it should be the same consistency as icing (do not eat)

Step four…

This should be done quickly so that your paste does not get hard … fill the Wilton bags with the faux icing and choose the design tip u prefer then decorate to your liking

Final step five…

Adorn the fake cakes with your personal touch of sweetness and let dry for 24 hours in the pan then display after completely dry

Have fun!

The Welfare Walk of Shame

Florida has finally implemented drug testing for welfare. Sure there are pro and cons to every side but just what would this mean if all states did the same. Well in my opinion  "users" will find a way to "use" and there is always a way to beat the system. Who is paying for this testing I'm sure its you and me (it’s my understanding that they will pay for the testing themselves then be reimbursed if they pass… who’s paying for that.) I mean it’s surely a push in the right direction and a good effort but honestly the extra money for these programs should be spent on policing abuse of these programs. Besides if they find a way to cost effectively apply the program, how many people would they actually catch. I guess the gist of it is… it’s a losing battle. I think Florida will be walking the welfare walk of shame when they find that their new program is a BUST!

feather frenzy ... fabulous or disastrous

So I recently joined the feather frenzy... after hearing many stories dedicated to the Feather fashion craze I decided to do a little research. This new trend is sweeping the nation and I say join the club. The scoop is that fly fisherman who make their own lures are suffering while us "women" are rockin' the feather fabulous looks... the feathers come from special breed of roosters that are euthanized at a young age for their tail feathers ... well I’m not convinced ... I say do you, ladies lets rock it. They are reusable and really only have to be purchased one time... don’t be discouraged from the negative media coverage after all it’s a fad... Like I always say fads fade... rock your rooster and shake those tail feathers GIRLS!!! By the way my dad makes his own lures in bulk and he supports my need to show a little tail ... feather

Mothers of all kinds

I posses a great feeling of accomplishment  ... Lexi had her first communion and i think she is ready and fully understands what it mean to receive Christ ... I am one proud parent as reminisce over memories of all the family bedtime prayers, nightly bible readings as a family and teachings of right from wrong and good from evil has paid off . Its hard to teach your children what a model christian should be in today's world but I gladly accept the challenge. If not for us then who will lead them in the right direction.  Don't assume you role and presence is not important in the life of a child whether you are a adopted parent,  step parent, godparent or  grandparent or just a parent we all have the responsibility to care for children not just our own  but all children. Every child deserves love and attention . Sometimes we don't realize that these kids need our guidance in many ways and people don't put enough emphasis on caring for others. I have never taken my job as a step mother lightly I've taught  Lexi everything i know...  fatih,  love, importance of family, discipline, importance of education, punctuality and  perseverance, not because i have to, but because i want to. I am obligated to through my faith... So please i know i am rambling but remember we all have roles to play as adults and remember they are watching us and looking up to us so MAKE the right descisions. Take you role seriously cause they do!! And parents remember be a parent to your child before a friend they depend on you for that!!!!!! Its one of the most important things that parents forget...  remeber you maybe cool in that moment but your only hurting your kids when you "let them slide" or try and be "cool" ... Be cool but firm be Just and rely on God to guide your parenting. As kids, their feelings will get hurt alot but they will thank you for it later... I was inspired by the parable of the sower (mathew 13:3-9 last night ... lets make our kids the seeds that fell on good soil and not let the evils of the world choke out, carry off and dry up our children's faith!   LOVE YA'LL